WHY CAN'T I BE LIKE DADDY CLOUD?
by Secret Epoch
Summary: Kouta wants to be like his father when he grows up until Cid comes along and ruins it. Cloti, non-serious fic feat. Cid.


**One of those spur of the moment idea's that you just happen to write down. This was written in under 30 minutes and I was NOT crazy or drunk while writing this. **

**Even though Cloud doesn't show up in here, he's still manages to be center of attention.(what a prima donna!)**

* * *

Why Can't I Be Like Daddy Cloud?

"Mama!" a seven year old boy came running into Seventh Heaven clutching a piece of paper in his little chubby hands, "Mama!"

Tifa looked up from her bar and smiled as her son ran towards her, "What is it Kouta?"

He waved the piece of paper in front of her and proclaimed excitingly, "Look, look what I did in school today!"

Cid, who was hiding in the corner stall of the bar drinking, decided to reveal himself, "Did they teach you how smoking kills? Cause it doesn't. Look at me, I'm still alive."

"Cid!" Tifa snapped at him and covered her child's ear, "Stop corrupting my son!" She really shouldn't let him hang around Kouta because he was a pretty bad influence. She only recently managed to get him to stop smoking when Kouta was near.

Cid raised his hand up in defence and backed away into his dark little corner again.

Tifa went down on her knees and held Kouta by his shoulder, "Now Kouta, don't listen to anything Uncle Cid just said. Remember what I told you."

"That smoking kills and Uncle Cid is slightly insane."

"That's right!" and high fived him.

"So did you like my picture?" Kouta asked.

"Your picture?" Tifa was confused about this picture he was asking about, what picture?

"The one you're holding mama." Kouta giggled adorably. Oh she said, how stupid of her.

The picture was a very colourful drawing of a blob Tifa couldn't quite recognize. The top part was yellow and then the rest of it was black. Then it seemed to have a black rectangle sitting on top of it, "Yes honey, it's a very nice picture of ummm…a…-"

"It's daddy!"

The blob was Cloud? Well, the yellow part was she guessed, his hair and the black rectangle was probably his motorcycle, "Wow, this is a very nice picture of daddy. I think I'll put it on the refrigerator."

As she walked to the back of the bar to display her sons art work, Kouta followed his mom and happily continued to talk.

"Yep! The teacher told the class to draw who or what you want to be when you grow up. I wanna be like daddy!"

"You want to be a cross-dresser?" Cid said, appearing once again when nobody wanted him to.

Kouta looked at him confusingly, "What's a cross-dresser Uncle Cid?"

Tifa's eyes were about to pop out of their sockets, "Uncle Cid is just joking with you, know go up stair and put away your things."

Kouta pouted because he was being sent away before Cid could answer his question, "Alright." He answered and secretly mouthed 'later' to Cid so he could find out what cross-dresser means without his mother finding out.

Tifa glared at Cid. He was being a nuisance today, "What were you thinking? Putting ideas into Kouta's head."

"What?" Cid cried in defence, "Cloud was a cross dresser, I'm not lying."

"ONE TIME! And that was to save me, he had a reason." Tifa bantered back and sighed, "I don't know what to do with you."

She went back to the bar to check on the customers, leaving Cid alone. He shrugged, "What wrong with her, it's only a joke."

* * *

10 minutes later, she hasn't heard from Cid. She figured that he left after she nagged and lectured him. That is until…

"DADDY LIKES TO WEAR MOMMY'S DRESSES?!?!" Kouta screamed loudly in surprise and horror.

Tifa cursed to herself and muttered, "Damn you Cid." She excused herself from her bar and customers to check on her son, or what's left of his innocence self.

She peered into his room and saw Cid and Kouta in discussion, "-yah a frilly puffy purple dress and pig tails!"

"Holy Gaia!" Kouta gasp, "So daddy's a girl?"

By now, Tifa just had to interrupt, "Cid, I think you should leave."

He grumbled a bit but listened to her and left, "You can't get rid of me that easily."

"Mama?"

Tifa gazed at her son. Her cute, chubby cheeked son, "No son, daddy is a boy, just like you."

"oh."

"Bu-"

"And he likes to wear boy clothes, just like you."

Kouta looked relieved, "Oh that's good, I thought daddy turned gay!"

Tifa stilled, "Who taught you that word?"

"Uncle Cid." He said nonchalantly.

"I'll kill him!!"

* * *

**Why can't I be like daddy?**

**Because he's a cross dresser.**

**Cheers!0**


End file.
